Fantasy Football: The Fantasy Relationship Dynamics in Ted Lasso
by Mia Burke
“Whistle! Circle Up!” News of a new season (season 4) of Apple TV's Ted Lasso hit social media with an expected release of August 2026. In anticipation, I rewatched the three previous seasons. Though not for the faint of heart (profanity, sexual references, and adult thematic material), there is something special about this show. But what is it? Is it the wit, the great storytelling, the emotional investment in the characters? No. It’s deeper than that. It’s the relationship dynamics amongst the characters and the goodwill and hope for humanity to do better, to become better, to be better.
This show borders on fantasy, depicting a group of people who are loving, kind, and patient with one another, forgiving and understanding the worst in each other. Characters who, after working through their feelings and situations, want the best in their compatriots. As inspiring and uplifting as the show leaves you, I crash back into reality—that this is not the culture, not the world we live in. But taking a page from Ted’s Playbook, it doesn’t have to be fantasy football. Loving each other is the heart of the show and the heart of our God.
Ted Lasso touches on deep topics such as trauma, forgiveness, self-belief, and emotional availability to others, even when you’ll pay a price or can’t stand them. The characters in the show want to see the others succeed, want them to be their best selves, and help each other along that journey. What if the world could actually be like that? Oklahoma!
Let’s dive into a few moments across the show's three seasons where we see these idealized relationship dynamics at play. Whistle!
Arthur Bryants (unknown date). Photo courtesy Arthur Bryant's on Unsplash.
Roy and Jamie: Compassion and Words “Unbelievable!”
“I sure can, Arlo. And that's because I'm a right-brained dominant with a knack for make-believe."
-Chris Powell, Commentator for AFC Richmond [1]
Just those names together make my shoulders tense, and my eyes roll in Season 1 and 2. Fans of the show know that the teammates' animosity and demeaning banter are instant trouble, and their later pairing later is unbelievable. Things like Jamie's nickname for Roy, "granddad," or Roy’s insults over Jamie's vanity and selfish solo playing- remembering these moments, it's hard to imagine them sharing more than a pitch, much less any real understanding.
At the beginning of the series, Jamie Tartt (Phil Dunster), an oversexed, ignorant, intolerant, egotistical, and antagonistic maniac, is not only vying to become AFC Richmond’s captain but to dominate his team and the football world with his athletic prowess and ego. He’s a prima donna (“Pre-Madonna” in Roy’s words), their best by far, and the athlete with the most promise of a superstar career on the team. As he sees it, "Why would I want to be anything else?[2]"
Oy! Roy Kent (Brett Goldstein), on the other hand, is unwillingly aging out of his long career as an exceptional footballer who never quite reached his full star potential. The two players have a volatile relationship due to Roy’s anger issues and Jamie’s ego. Through a series of bad choices and vain misteps, Jamie’s ex-girlfriend, Keeley Jones (June Temple), and Roy pair up. It is in that relationship with Keeley that Roy opens to personal growth and allows Keeley to become part of his most important relationship: his niece, Phoebe (Elodie Blornfield).
The real turning point for Roy comes when Keeley encourages him to read the letter Phoebe's teacher sent home about her in-class behavior (Season 2, Episode 8 “Man City”). In that moment, Roy, after hearing that Phoebe mimicked his anger and obscene language, is forced to reflect on how his actions affect those he loves. Sitting on the bench with his niece, Roy’s tough exterior cracks as he promises Phoebe—and himself—to try to be better. It is through his connection with Phoebe and mentoring nudges from Keeley that Roy softens, to care about the consequences of his anger, and even learns to cuss a little less (Phoebe making a killing from her foul-mouthed uncle’s bad-word infractions). This brings to mind the scripture that admonishes we have both life and death within the power of our tongues (Proverbs 18:21). Not only is Roy seeing the fruit of his foul language in Phoebe, but he’s reaping it in other areas of his life, such as his rejection of the dude support group, The Diamond Dogs. He’s missing out everywhere.
In this connection with his niece, Roy learns to cherish his relationships and becomes a mentor. Roy reaches out to his replacement as team captain, Isaac McAdoo, to help him work through his fears about becoming the Greyhounds’ leader (Season 2, Episode 5, “Rainbow”) and encourages Isaac to live up to the potential, which leads to Roy recommending Isaac as his replacement.
Two Persons Arms (unknown date). Photo courtesy Youssef Naddam on Unsplash.
In season 2, Jamie is virtually canceled due to bad reality-TV, personal, and professional choices. He humbly returns to Richmond, not as a captain, but as a second-stringer. One unrealistic aspect of this storyline is the minimal collateral and relational damage that the love triangle of Keeley, Roy, and Jamie suffers from the casual sex they engage in. Keeley, switching players in both seasons 1 and 3, the show features what feels like only a minor bump when Jamie accepts Roy as Keeley’s boyfriend in season 1, and vice versa when she has a casual encounter with Jamie in season 3. However, in reality, such entanglements would likely leave deeper scars—resentment, jealousy, and mistrust simmering beneath the surface, affecting both the personal and professional dynamics among the trio. By glossing over these challenges, the series sacrifices some real-world complexity. However, I digress, and we’ll pick this idea back up later.
Back to Roy and Jamie’s mentoring relationship: during season 2, Roy becomes an assistant coach for Richmond and has a front seat to Jamie's abusive relationship with his father. In season 3, Jamie returns to the Greyhounds and eats humble pie for his time on reality TV and time with Manchester City F.C. Roy commits to bringing Jamie back physically and mentally, and does everything from an overnight jog while in Amsterdam instead of partying with the rest of the team, to exercises and opportunities to learn to be an amazing team human and player.
Their relationship brings to mind Ephesians 4:32, where we’re encouraged to be kind and compassionate to everyone, and forgive as we have been forgiven. Roy learns to look past Jamie’s ego and his past relationship with Keeley to see the man, broken by his father and life, to discover the potential in him as both a man and a Richmond team member. Unbelievably, he softens toward Jamie, taking him on as a mentee and guiding him to become the stryker Jamie is capable of being. It is in his dealings with Isaac and Phoebe that Roy grows enough to tolerate the now humble Jamie's ego, which has also softened through his challenges. One could say, Roy Kent, once the team's unyielding enforcer, becomes its surprising source of grace, showing us all that real strength lies in forgiveness and growth. One could say, “Roy Kent, Roy Kent, he’s here, he’s there, he’s every…where!” And we’re inspired by the character’s arc.
Ted and Rebecca: Forgiveness and Casual Sex "Be a goldfish."
"Is time running out on Richmond's chance to control their future?"
"Only if you think of time as linear, Arlo."
-Arlo White and Chris Powell, Commentators for AFC Richmond
Ted and Rebecca have a nice ring to it. I’m still shipping them in my mind for season 4, but I digress. Rebecca Welton (Hannah Waddingham) begins the series, spitefully taking from her recent divorce settlement with her ex-husband, serial cheater Rupert Mannion (Anthony Head), his one love: AFC Richmond. In a move to kill the club, she hires a seemingly cliché American football coach, Ted Lasso (Jason Sudeikis), to destroy and humiliate the soccer club her ex loves so dearly.
As the two work together, they become true friends. Rebecca comes to treasure not only Ted as an amazing coach who cares more about who his players are as people and their potential to be amazing humans, but also as a friend who loves at all times.[4] I can’t help but tear up as Ted duets with Rebecca at her father’s funeral, “Never Gonna Give You Up” (Season 2, Episode 10). Or Rebecca’s confiding in Ted during the charity auction, allowing herself to be vulnerable for the first time since her divorce (Season 1, Episode 4). Or Ted’s chipping away at her polished veneer with their daily shared biscuits-and-tea routine, where the foundation of trust and genuine care developed between them.
White Goldfish (unknown date). Photo courtesy Zengtao Tang on Unsplash.
As their friendship develops, Rebecca realizes the two can’t really be friends without working through the deception she brought Ted to AFC Richmond under. She pulls an “Oklahoma,” (a secret phrase meaning to tell the truth no matter what). In a nail-biting scene, she works herself up to the truth on his one-year anniversary of coming to England. Shockingly to her and the audience, Ted immediately forgives her, and they move on without judgment, anger, or loss of trust. If only that were possible in real life.
For me, experiencing betrayal and trying to forgive was and is not quick or simple. When someone I trusted deceived me, I unwillingly held onto the pain and resentment. Every time I tried to let go, the memory resurfaced, and the treachery returned. It took a lot of honest reflection, conversations with supportive friends and God, and prayers of release before I could finally say I forgave. Even then, it is still complex and layered, and as new perspectives or levels resurface, I have to return to Father for healing of the next layer and to decide whether to reconcile.
“For me, success is not about the wins and losses. It’s about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves on and off the field.[5]”
Having recently worked through some complex trauma, the betrayal of a couple of key relationships, and from an organization, it’s not that easy. Ted teaches his team to be like a goldfish, ”only have a ten-second memory.” Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. Life is messier than that. However, the Bible instructs something similar in Colossians 3:13 and Matthew 6:14-15, and living a lifestyle of forgiveness in Matthew 18:21-35 and Mark 11:25. Key here is understanding that forgiveness isn’t the same as reconciliation. Forgiveness is for you- to release the bitterness and anger, while reconciliation is when both parties actively repair the relationship. Again, the unreality of Ted Lasso is that one of the greatest tragedies of life is that we’re such damaged creatures we often can’t or won’t work through our trauma, applying either fundamental practice that God developed for us to have unity with each other.
Another area where characters remember like a goldfish is the casual sex, observed in Sassy, Rebecca, and Keeley. The narrative shows these three women facing consequences for their choices—feelings of loneliness, hurt, abandonment, and, at times, a sense of meaninglessness — following their casual encounters. Rather than quickly criticizing the shifting of sexual partners or lack of monogamy as prudish, it's important to recognize that casual sexual encounters often affect the individuals and those around them, sometimes resulting in far-reaching consequences. Recent public scandals, both within and outside of faith communities, highlight the impact these decisions can have on those involved, their families, and institutions, as well as on trust.
Attitudes about sex outside Christianity are often more open and liberal, but I can’t help applying C.S. Lewis’ argument for moral law in Mere Christianity.[6] He argues that when someone steals from you, your natural response is anger at the injustice. Christian or not, the sense of what’s morally right or wrong is innate in humanity. Scripture also addresses the importance of sexual choices. As 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says, other sins are outside the body, but sexual sins are against our own body. We are to honor God with our bodies.
God’s prescribed laws about sex are meant for our protection. It brings to mind the analogy of an umbrella: God’s laws protect us from the rain of pain, damage, or destruction that occurs when we stand out from under it. They’re not in place to be repressed, puritanical, or a killjoy, but the real consequences to casual sex- from relationships, to physical diseases, and unwanted children- for example. There’s something sacred in the act; we are created to be sexual beings in certain contexts and constraints- treating it as commonplace leads most often to hurt and opens doors to trauma and worse.
For more on this, see the fantastic book, God Loves Sex: An Honest Conversation about Sexual Desire and Holinessby Dan Allender and Tremper Longman (2014). While the show’s characters casually engage in sex, they at least acknowledge the lingering consequences, however short-lived.
Man Holds His Head While Sitting on a Sofa (unknown date). Photo courtesy Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash.
Dr. Sharon Fieldstone: Trauma and Shalom "Be curious, not judgmental."[7]
"...WHY?!?"
"Well, we'd probably have to dive into his childhood for THAT answer."
-Arlo White and Chris Powell, Commentators for AFC Richmond[8]
In season 2, Ted’s wife Michelle (Andrea Anders) files for divorce, which brings up Ted’s past abandonment trauma. He spends most of the second season in denial, finding everything possible to stuff into the hole the separation has created in his life. Many of us know what it feels like when a big loss leaves an empty space, and we try to fill it with anything that might numb the pain—work, distractions, or even forced optimism. Watching Ted grasp for footing in the wake of heartbreak, in overly intrusive texts to Michelle, “forgetting” to sign the divorce papers, or sleeping with Sassy (Ellie Taylor) while in a vulnerable state, I’m reminded of the many stupid decisions I’ve made when I was hurt.
In a crazy plot twist, Higgins (Jeremy Swift- arguably the most underrated character in this amazing show), hires Dr. Sharon Fieldstone (Sarah Niles), a sports team psychologist, to help one of the players, Danni Rojas (Cristo Fernández), when he accidentally kills the team mascot, Earl the Greyhound, during a penalty kick.[9] Ted spends a few episodes avoiding the therapist and being passive-aggressive toward her (insert his cheesy humor) until he runs from the field during an important game with a panic attack.
Ted's reluctance to meet with Dr. Sharon doesn’t just make for good writing; it echoes how we can avoid facing our pain or refuse help when we need it most. Just as Ted hides behind humor and distraction, we, too, can find ourselves reluctant to seek healing, whether with others or from God. His avoidance mirrors the spiritual struggle of vulnerability—how easy it is to keep God or people at arm's length, hoping that if we just stay busy or put on a brave face, we might not have to confront what’s really hurting. But, as Dr. Bessel van der Kolk notes, “the body keeps the score.” Unresolved pain and conflict will manifest physically. And it does with a vengeance in Ted on television, in front of the wide world of sports.
Finally meeting with Dr. Sharon, Ted gets honest about his failed relationship with Michelle and his father’s suicide. Dr. Sharon is firm but kind, welcoming him into her makeshift office, "Heavy is the head that wears the visor, Coach Lasso. You must have a lot on your mind."[10] He finds the courage to face his anxiety head-on. She says the most truthful and compassionate line I’ve ever heard about starting on a journey of healing, “The truth will set you free, but first it’ll piss you off,"[11] a play on John 8:32. Yep. I can relate.
This storyline drives home the point that God intends for us to be whole. The Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:1-20), for example, aren’t a list of rules but a treatise on how to relationship: first with God, then with our community. Just as Ted learns to forgive himself and those who have hurt him, the commandments teach us that wholeness begins with honest connection to God and others. Dr. Sharon leads Ted on a journey of forgiving himself for the frailty of being human, as well as those who hurt him. By getting real, saying the hard thing out loud, and being honest with himself, he could, in turn, be vulnerable with others instead of hiding behind the facade of cheesy puns, witty pop culture references, and positivity. It really put me in a headspace to look at my life and coping mechanisms. What was I using to hide from doing the work I needed to do to be free?
“I believe in hope. I believe in Believe.[12]”
When I think of John 8:36, 'So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed,' I see Ted's journey toward freedom from shame and the lies he tells himself. As he faces his pain, he experiences deeper freedom. The concept of shalom in Isaiah 26:3, 'You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you,' echoes Ted’s growing peace as he slowly builds trust with Dr. Sharon and lets go of control. Jesus’ promise in John 10:10 of abundant life isn’t about constant happiness, but flourishing even through pain—Ted learning that healing and wholeness are possible after loss. I cheered Ted on as he wrestled with the question Jesus asks the man at the Pool of Bethesda: “Do you want to be whole?” (John 5:6), and decided the pain and work were worth it- for his son, his team, and for himself. We are invited to this same journey toward healing, trusting that being real before God leads to a deeper sense of peace and true freedom. Yeah Coach!
Ah, the fantasy world that is Ted Lasso. Where people do the hard work. They’re open to believing the best in each other or at least learning to laugh at themselves and the situation. If it were only the Dogtrack (AFC Richmond’s stadium), a safe space in real life. If we could really be that loving, accepting, and encouraging in real life. Maybe we could try some ball-handling skills, some practical ways to live out this kind of love, start small: encourage the discouraged, listen without judgment, or reach out to reconcile with someone you have struggled with. Practice some header skills by being patient when misunderstandings occur and by looking for moments to extend grace to others, even when it's difficult. These simple exercises can help us build muscle for a culture of kindness, forgiveness, and hope—one step at a time. Like Trent Crimm (James Lance), of The Independent notes, "If the Lasso way is wrong, it's hard to imagine being right."[13] I want to believe. I want to believe we can be better as humans, as followers of Christ, and as co-sojourners on this planet during the time we have. I hope you want to, too.
Lasso Believe Sign (2026). Digital art courtesy Mia Burke.
WORKS CITED
"Goodbye Earl," Ted Lasso, S 2, E 1. Declan Lowney, aired July 23, 2021, on AppleTV.
"Biscuits," Ted Lasso, S 1, E 2. Zach Braff, aired Aug 14, 2020, on they engagethatpotentialGreyhounds'AppleTV.
"Inverting the Pyramid of Success," Ted Lasso, S 2, E 12. Declan Lowney, aired October 8, 2021, on AppleTV.
Proverbs 17:17
"Inverting the Pyramid of Success," Ted Lasso, S 1, E 3, Tom Marshall, aired August 14, 2020, on AppleTV.
Lewis, C.S., Mere Christianity, (New York: Harper Collins, 2002), Pgs. 24-27.
"Diamond Dogs," Ted Lasso, S 1, E 8. Declan Lowney, aired August 21, 2020, on AppleTV.
"I(O)I," Ted Lasso, S 3, E 2. M.J. Delaney, aired March 22, 2023, on AppleTV.
"Goodbye Earl," Ted Lasso, S 2, E 1. Declan Lowney, aired July 23, 2021, on AppleTV.
"Lavender," Ted Lasso, S 2, E 1. Declan Lowney, aired July 30, 2021, on AppleTV.
"Headspace," Ted Lasso, S 2, E 2. Matt Lipsey, aired July 30, 2021, on AppleTV.
"The Hope That Kills You" Ted Lasso, S 1, E 10. M.J. Delaney, aired October 2, 2020, on AppleTV.
“Trent Crimm: The Independent"" Ted Lasso, S 1, E 3, Tom Marshall, aired August 14, 2020, on AppleTV.
Resources
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